Tim Lovejoy: Football Cretin

By Johnny Connelly

While wading through tedious online football news feeds today in search for some subject matter that differentiated even slightly from the big question, ‘who will Woy take to Bwazil?’, I stumbled across a much needed and brutally honest shot in the arm from the When Saturday Comes archives.

As an avid reader of football books, particularly those recommended by WSC, my eye was drawn to this latest offering, salvaged beautifully from the back catalogue of the popular off-the-wall football magazine’s review section.

My eyebrows raised in disbelief when the book in question for this review was an autobiography (of sorts) from smarmy former Soccer AM host, Tim Lovejoy. 

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Yes, that classic paperback that all football hipsters just couldn’t do without, ‘Lovejoy on football’. My heart sank for a brief moment, had WSC sold its soul to the devil? Endorsing something straight from the quill of a patterless John Terry-lover come cooking show host is tantamount to a golden handshake with Lucifer himself in the eyes of any football fan with even half a brain.

Thankfully, the true nature and purpose of the book review sets in early on. Phew.

Without spoiling the full review, critic Taylor Parkes hits the nail on the head when he describes these bound sheets of drivel as: part witless musing, and one more triumph for the crass stupidity rapidly replacing culture in this country. Hopelessly banal and nauseatingly self-assured, smirkingly unfunny, it’s a £300 T-shirt, a piss-you-off ringtone, a YouTube clip of someone drinking their mate’s vomit.”

I doubt even if Shakespeare had been around today, (and happened to share a fondness for the beautiful game), he’d have found a more encapsulating and accurate few lines of prose to portray the sheer piffle that Lovejoy puts across when discussing football, or anything else for that matter.

The delightfully savage review, in all its glory can be read here.

If you’re looking for the perfect birthday or Christmas present for that thicko football fan you so unfortunately have to endure through family or work commitments on a regular basis, then look no further. 

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